Thursday, March 10, 2011

Naked sushi: Boulder's Hapa bares all

Not everybody does it, but Boulder's Hapa Sushi does. Naked sushi. Not that you as a patron are naked while enjoying your salmon skin roll (that would prolly cost a good deal more) but those serving it are. Really serving it.

I dunno. I have zero objections to nudity whether public, private or shared. And this is art. Fish art. Actually it’s an ancient art form called Nyotaimori (Yo-too-more-ee), or to my people eating sushi or sashimi off of a naked woman - or man, in the case of Nantaimori - as a human platter.

But I dunno. As the body warms so does the food. And pardon the obvious pun, but sushi already has a…fishy…umm…taste. My imaginating would take it to an entirely new level as I dived in. 

Do they full body wax for pub and pit hair free presentation? And good lord, what about toes? Especially the big ones. Don’t get me started on belly buttons. I am thismuch curious about eating food off an unknown man. Makes me giggle to think how and where they’d place the squid. And watch out for the wasabi.

Hapa has an intriguing menu of house sushi rolls, many with names cheeky and "winkwink" in nature; the Booty Call Roll (Shrimp tempura, crab and cucumber roll wrapped in salmon, sweet soy and baked with a luscious cream sauce - the Orgasm Roll has the same sauce); the Climax Roll (California Roll with "tons" of masago - Google tells me that's Capelin roe, or tiny eggs). Funny, no Walk of Shame Roll.

Sushi tease, it's like they're trying a little too hard. I give it a semi-flaccid.

1 comment:

long island catering halls said...

Most dining spots will do all kind of gimmick to attract more customers. Though this is an alternative way of eating those sushis.